If you remind me of the debts I should clear,
‘guess attention is all I have to pay.
She talks of dreams, of doubts, of unwarranted fears,
or pointless end of a routine day.
But if ever her words dry up, or give way to tears,
I hope I’ve got some to say.
You know Lord that I’m a broken man,
taking shattered dreams in stride.
And all the hope she’s pinned on me,
take shots at my left over pride.
You know that I’m grateful,
for making me the man that she so loves.
But Lord I pray you help me be,
the man that she deserves.
Love songs I know are too high,
and so are all her stars,
I might as well go fetching them,
but she still knows about past scars.
And when the stars are out and the day is done,
to show her all I can.
With all your help just grant me one,
last chance to STAY her man.
I might need a lot more grace,
but Lord you have your way,
no matter what, no matter why,
just don’t let me say,
“You know Lord that I was grateful,
that you made me the man she loved.
But Lord you never let me be,
the man that she deserved.”
This is what came out when I fell in love for the first time. A lot of people will disagree but I refuse to justify. Glad to still have THE person in my life. Love you kid.
Ishita Goel
January 12, 2008 at 2:16 pm
I agree with you…its an amazing piece..right out of your heart i can guarantee…keep up the good work..keep more comin…you sure hav talent..
mridulgreenwold
January 12, 2008 at 2:34 pm
keep those responses coming. they mean a lot. take care.
Upasana
January 15, 2008 at 11:49 am
Brilliant. I’m pleasantly surprised, actually! but damn good piece of work.. especially like it because its simple and SUBTLE.. no 7 syllable complex words that are hard to pronounce, none of the “her mesmerising eyes” and “angelic smile” kinda crap.. best of all? last 4 lines..
dolly
January 16, 2008 at 7:33 pm
it is too beautiful. becoz u wrote it for me.
shukriya ji.love it.
rashmi
January 22, 2008 at 7:44 pm
deserved or not,that doesnt matter,its only love that matter,and the best thing is,she is with u,and will b with u,and this was one of my favourite poems,keep giving us more,but not about what u deserve.and the favourite line is,”u made me the man she loved”.so mister mridul,waiting for some more…………
gautam verma
January 28, 2008 at 11:19 am
dude i’d like to sugst u smthng..
bt befor that, i have no rights to say its ir-relevant bt i wud say that dont try to make a poem out of waht u feel….
just rite and well keepin mind the rhyming scheme..
if u try to add some old englsih, then dnt mix it up with the modern day’s one…
althouigh ur life seams to be incomplete (like mine) bt most stanza seams to be incomplete !
i hopw u wont mind…
well done dude…
gautam
gautam093@yahoo.com
if u cud contact me, i shall be honoured to send u some of my irrelvant and abrubt poems !
Bhaskar
February 3, 2008 at 12:20 pm
Oye hoye, Mr. Greenwold! Who knew that under that rough and tough, flippant exterior was an ol’ softie? Keep at it.
baba
February 14, 2008 at 1:55 pm
Just to let you know this has become one my favourite poems.
I am a proud brother.
The guy up there is… still up there and with you too.
Sahil
November 15, 2011 at 10:36 pm
Very moving jolt… nicely done.
Mridul Greenwold
November 16, 2011 at 3:11 am
thanks man…. That was such a long time ago. 6 years to be precise as my dear wife would be prompt to point out. The best part is….. Nothing has changed. If only feelings are stronger and sentiments truer.
Josephine
November 27, 2011 at 11:05 pm
You know Lord that I was grateful,
that you made me the man she loved.
…Touching ..