On conscience

Jotted down a few thoughts during my exam today. this post is a vague recollection.  Made a lot of sense to me back there in the exam hall, hope they make some to you. Nothing on my blog ever does anyway.

“In these hard times we can hardly afford a conscience or self esteem.”

                                                                                                         - Mridul

Three summers ago, during an examination, during an important examination, I asked the girl sitting behind me the monomer of PVC. Though I knew it, I wasn’t too sure. Simple task, easily done. Unless you are the kind with a conscience. Now my conscience talks to me in a booming baritone. No gentle whisper, no timid nagging. I think it needs to be taught a lesson. Or rather, I can’t make up my mind.

Anyway, I copied it down because it completed my section nice and round. It was not the first time I cheated and it was not the last. I fared well in the exam, in fact the best of all my subjects. But this is one memory I find hard to deal with. Maybe because it was an important exam. Or maybe because nothing is important enough for conscience.

A word in honor of all those who do not cheat. I have seen many geniuses, the kinds that do not need to cheat, but I know of a girl, bright alright, who simply would not cheat. I have seen her faring bad too, flunk; I’m not sure if she ever did, But has never cheated.I have a lot of respect for you, and everyone else who does not cheat. Thanks for keeping the ideals unattainable.

I am not here to praise anyone, neither am I trying to pinch your conscience awake. I did not cheat as a mark of respect of all honest  people. Kudos.

Not that I will not cheat from now on, but I heard another voice today. Lot milder almost lost. It was not conscience, for it had stopped bothering me a long time ago. 

For that, I’m not sure if I hate it or am grateful to it.