Grey

While you wait for distant revelations/shown to you on 70mm reel/clearing mind of grainy resolution/I can do with things that I can feel/’coz I’m free/free from the realms of doubt/if I can only see/all the things I feel about/give up fighting for my famous lies/weighed hard the odds of being right/tired of seeing things with saline eyes/tired of seeing things in black and white/but I’m free/free from the shades of grey/if I can’t see/linens washed in light of day/and I’m free/to feel about from ray to ray/don’t wanna be/blinded son of blinded clay

On conscience

Jotted down a few thoughts during my exam today. this post is a vague recollection.  Made a lot of sense to me back there in the exam hall, hope they make some to you. Nothing on my blog ever does anyway.

“In these hard times we can hardly afford a conscience or self esteem.”

                                                                                                         – Mridul

Three summers ago, during an examination, during an important examination, I asked the girl sitting behind me the monomer of PVC. Though I knew it, I wasn’t too sure. Simple task, easily done. Unless you are the kind with a conscience. Now my conscience talks to me in a booming baritone. No gentle whisper, no timid nagging. I think it needs to be taught a lesson. Or rather, I can’t make up my mind.

Anyway, I copied it down because it completed my section nice and round. It was not the first time I cheated and it was not the last. I fared well in the exam, in fact the best of all my subjects. But this is one memory I find hard to deal with. Maybe because it was an important exam. Or maybe because nothing is important enough for conscience.

A word in honor of all those who do not cheat. I have seen many geniuses, the kinds that do not need to cheat, but I know of a girl, bright alright, who simply would not cheat. I have seen her faring bad too, flunk; I’m not sure if she ever did, But has never cheated.I have a lot of respect for you, and everyone else who does not cheat. Thanks for keeping the ideals unattainable.

I am not here to praise anyone, neither am I trying to pinch your conscience awake. I did not cheat as a mark of respect of all honest  people. Kudos.

Not that I will not cheat from now on, but I heard another voice today. Lot milder almost lost. It was not conscience, for it had stopped bothering me a long time ago. 

For that, I’m not sure if I hate it or am grateful to it. 

Misplaced

Girl you lost a lot of ground/When you sang of love you claimed you found/Its hard to say if you’re wrong/ But baby there’s someplace else I belong/You never did say what you told/And you never did grow when you grew old/You always took your own sweet time/So I wrote an ode that I could rhyme/Can’t say baby if I’m through/Or if I’ll be there when its time for you/Not much you can do and life won’t rewind/Is your love misplaced, or just mistimed?

Written for  a  real person very close to me.

….where its due.

If you remind me of the debts I should clear,
‘guess attention is all I have to pay.
She talks of dreams, of doubts, of unwarranted fears,
or pointless end of a routine day.
But if ever her words dry up, or give way to tears,
I hope I’ve got some to say.

You know Lord that I’m a broken man,
taking shattered dreams in stride.
And all the hope she’s pinned on me,
take shots at my left over pride.
You know that I’m grateful,
for making me the man that she so loves.
But Lord I pray you help me be,
the man that she deserves.

Love songs I know are too high,
and so are all her stars,
I might as well go fetching them,
but she still knows about past scars.
And when the stars are out and the day is done,
to show her all I can.
With all your help just grant me one,
last chance to STAY her man.

I might need a lot more grace,
but Lord you have your way,
no matter what, no matter why,
just don’t let me say,
“You know Lord that I was grateful,
that you made me the man she loved.
But Lord you never let me be,
the man that she deserved.” 

This is what came out  when I fell in love for the first time. A lot of people will disagree but I refuse to justify. Glad to still have THE person in my life. Love you kid.                                                                              

My Hero

“…that world never came.

And they say that our hero would save us…”

Perfect start for a blog of a hero worshipper like me. 

Our Hero,
to do what He does the best, bash the odds. It’s amazing how the odds are always stacked against him even with all those superpowers.
 

Our Hero,
Someone we love to love, for the lack of adorable people in our lives.
 

Our Hero, not necessarily someone we look up to or would like to become. 

Our Hero, extremely handy, and a must for daily household chores. 

I fall prostrate in awe and thank my hero for being who He is.